2025: The Year of fully baked cookies
Happy New Year! Here we are celebrating yet another year and for many of us, setting those goals, or resolutions. You may be expecting a goal-setting post from me, but I can assure you that is not what this post is about. I did not want to do the typical goal-setting post as those are everywhere this time of the year. Google “New Year’s Resolutions” and see how many posts are generated. We see these pop up because organizations and media tend to know what society generally tends to believe that:
1) The beginning of the year is the best time to create goals
2) If we gain more money, get the right body, and attain that ideal relationship that we will be successful
3) Goal attainment should happen when we want it to
So, to sum this up, societal mindsets tend to tell us that we need to do certain things by a certain time in a certain way to be truly happy. Perhaps that is why 1 in 5 adults in America were diagnosed with anxiety in 2022 (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr213.pdf). The problem with cookie-cutter mindsets such as these is that they 1) set timeframes for us that may be unrealistic: we know that life happens as it happens and we sometimes have very little control over what happens when, particularly when other people are involved. When I think about this, I imagine my grannie, saying “It takes as long as it takes” when I would query about life’s timelines. That phrase would annoy me to no end. I would think, “According to (fill in the blank with your favorite resource here), it should have happened by now”. However, I have found that when I push against the process that may be necessary with time, I find myself drifting even further away from peace in my life. In fact, this is one of the main mindsets that I find trigger anxiety in my clients. The pressure to make something happen when unchecked can be detrimental to our overall well-being, making it even more difficult to attain the goal we were after in the first place.
The second issue with this societal generalization is that it makes us believe something that isn’t entirely true. Personally, I have found that as soon as I reach one of my goals, such as saving a certain amount of money, for example, I begin to focus on something else. I have learned that losing weight, for example, can be attained, but then must be sustained, which means that all of those habits that I have developed over time can’t just be thrown out the window if I don’t want to engage in cyclical processes. Truth is, there really isn’t an endpoint. Is this disappointing? I would say that it depends on how you look at it. On the one hand, it can be hard to think that the goalpost will always be moved so you have to keep moving forward. However, on the other hand, once you meet that goal, you now have a foundation to build on. Once you start losing weight, you may notice that your mood changes or that you have more energy. You may learn ways to exercise and attain nutrition that helps your body become stronger and healthier in ways that you may not have originally considered. Thus, there can be more to gain from taking on goals with growth in mind instead of the end.
Finally, the mindset that a particular day is the perfect time to create goals is also problematic. To begin with, it adds an undue amount of pressure. In a world where we are constantly bombarded with expectations about time, it can be helpful to take the time to determine what is a realistic timeframe for you-without said input from those who have little to no awareness of your circumstance. It is said that it takes about 90 days for something to become a habit. So, if you started working out on January 1st, it may not be an actual part of your natural routine until April 1st, and that is pending that the mind does not return to its pre-set programming. It amazes me how so many people can be disappointed in themselves for not changing a habit immediately. We often don’t realize that it took months, days, and even years for some of the habits that we engage in today to form. If it took that long to create it, it may take longer than a month, a quarter, or even a year to change it, and those whom we follow on social media that may have attained those goals, often have taken quite a bit of time to sustain their practice.
Some people appreciate the theme of the new year and can use that as motivation to start, which is the most challenging part. However, I’d like to remind you that you can choose to start, or restart, whenever you want. You do not have to wait for a particular day, nor do you have to wait for the motivation to start. Every day that you intentionally work on something, you are making progress in your growth journey. You don’t need a cookie-cutter mindset to do it, you can design your own cookie template. Just remember that cookie dough isn’t going to satisfy you the way a completely baked cookie might. Give it time to bake-give yourself time to grow. Who knows? By doing this, you may end up with an even sweeter outcome.