Thriving through the holidays

Thriving This Holiday Season

When I first thought about this post, I considered going the trendy route and talking about surviving the holiday season. There are so many realities that we do indeed face in our various situations: being around family that we would prefer to not be around, the pressure of getting everything and finishing up last minute tasks, loss, etc. The holiday season can feel like a random gift-one that could be as disappointing as a lump of coal or as exciting as receiving that one thing that you have wanted for so long.

So, which is the better option to discuss? Here, it could be helpful to zoom out and realize what we are truly talking about: mindsets. According to the American Psychological Association, a mindset a state of mind that influences how people think about and then enact their goal-directed activities in ways that may systematically promote or interfere with optimal functioning. It can be influenced by our beliefs, values, and how we are socialized. Even reading a blog post such as this can influence your mindset. Mindset is important to pay attention to as it is often being reinforced without us knowing which sometimes leads us to wondering how we ended up where we are today.  I spend a lot of time in my work with my clients understanding their mindset. We can spend months determining what aspects of themselves are informing their beliefs and what is influencing their mindset without them being aware (this can often happen within social media). You might be wondering what a mindset has to do with the holiday season. Well, if a mindset influences how we think about situations and then behave, it can also greatly influence our perception of the holidays, or a situation, as something that we need to just “get through” or if it becomes something that we can enjoy. It is less about the event, but more about how we decide to process that information.

Notice that I added the decision piece here. We can decide how we want to process information which then might impact our mood and overall outlook on the situation. If I don’t get my requested time off for a holiday, for example, I can process that information by acknowledging how I feel, determining if there is anything that I can do to potentially change the outcome, and determine a work-around to still be able to do what I enjoy about the holiday, even if I cannot do it on the exact day. In contrast, I can process that information by deciding that I never get what I want and just moving in a way to get me through the day, ignoring my own desires for the holiday. Either way, you would most likely get through the day, but being intentional with your processing can make the difference to a day being awful to maybe even being a bit enjoyable.

Now, this is not to say that the holidays are not challenging and that we should just “positive-wash” them. More than likely, we can expect that things will not occur exactly the way, when, and how that we may want them to-however, addressing our mindset impacts our perspective, which can motivate us to do the things that we need to do to achieve our best possible outcome with whatever we are given.

Just as there are difficult moments, there are also joyous moments that can be found: being around those that you would like to spend time with, enjoying the festive environment, having a new and exciting holiday experience, etc. Seeing both the challenges and the moments of joy can help us experience the holidays with our own wellness in mind-perhaps that is how we move from surviving to thriving this holiday season.

Wishing you a well holiday season,

Chante’