Overcoming Your Past: How to Conduct a Psychological Ghost Hunt
The Past Needs Some Perspective.
Time. The one thing we never seem to have enough of. One thing that we wish we could turn back. One of the biggest worries individuals experience in their lives is in relation to time. So much of our time is spent thinking about time that being present can seem almost impossible. How many times have you brushed your teeth or completed another task without realizing the process that your mind and body embarked on to complete that task? Some of us find that we become so consumed with this concept, that we miss something important aspect of the present, particularly during the holiday season and thus place undue stress upon ourselves. This time of the year can be particularly interesting as we may not only be focused on the holidays, but we may also focusing on the spooky side of the holidays, particularly in regards to Halloween. Whether you believe in ghosts or not, the past can certainly haunt us. Regret, guilt, and other difficult feelings have the capacity to consume us if we are not careful. So, what can we do? Every moment that we breathe creates another past event that may have the capacity to bring regret. Thus, I propose instead of allowing the past to haunt you, we practice confronting the past in order to be able to not only live in the present, but also create a better future for ourselves.
What does confronting the past look like?
Confronting the past can bring up an assortment of feelings that can make it a somewhat scary experience. However, there are a few steps that we can take to prepare ourselves for that journey. Here are a few tips:
Look at whatever you may have been avoiding. It is human condition to turn away from things that we may deem as dark or may bring up unpleasant feelings for us. However, when we do this, we feed feelings such as shame and actually amplify the power that even has in our lives. We may have things in our past that we may not feel proud of, however, that shame does not help us move forward.. In fact, shame only makes it harder to connect with others who may have figured out how to confront such darkness and may be able to help us create a better future for ourselves despite that painful event. Looking at this painful moment may not always mean telling your story to someone else. Sometimes, it is telling ourselves what happened. Other times, we may need to talk to someone else. Either way, speaking your truth allows you to practice uncovering things that could be holding you back from living in your truth.
Choose to look at the past from another perspective. Yes, terrible things happen in this world. Changing your perspective does not mean that you are dismissing or minimizing the traumatic events that you may have experienced, however, changing your perspective means that you choose to look at it in a way that helps whether than harms you. The goal of this step is to help us move from harmful to helpful thought around that situation. If you felt that you made a mistake in the past that keeps showing up in your life, is there something that you may have learned from that experience that can help you in your current situation?
Engage in forgiveness work. Not forgiving yourself or someone else is like drinking the poison that you thought was for someone else. Your hurt, your pain is valid and will need tending. In movies this time of the year, we often can find ghosts that are haunting a space due to some unresolved conflict. I imagine those ghosts as symbolizing our own past regrets or resentment. Without forgiveness, over time that pain can become anger which, if acted upon, can lead to destruction of relationships and overall happiness. While it may feel good in the moment to hold that anger, only through releasing that pain from the past can you experience peace in the present. This process of moving forward can be challenging and take time, however, it creates a space for a happier future in our lives.
We do not have to exist with a haunted mind of past mistakes or trauma. We can choose to get rid of the darkness in our lives if we are willing to confront it and release it. As always, if you feel that this work is too much to handle on your own, reach out to others who have knowledge about dealing with the past in a healthy manner to support you on your journey. While we cannot change the past, we can certainly change how it impacts our present, and our future.