Sustainable Hope-Wakanda Style
Lately I have received a few inquiries from clients about the best ways to sustain hope. I find that sometimes it can be very scary to believe for a better future. To have hope after heartbreak, to believe for better after a disappointment, to imagine something greater when reality has been anything but great requires a lot of courage. Developing the courage to create hope requires that we understand the meaning of our experiences. Meaning can be found daily: in your conversations, workouts, any experience gives us an opportunity to create meaning for ourselves. This week, I challenged myself to find meaning in a movie: The Black Panther. Yes, I realize that there have probably already been hundreds of articles on the various symbolism in the movie, but I was so inspired by the hope and joy that I witnessed while people came together to see themselves as heroes within the film that I wanted to see what wellness lessons I could dig up. So, without further ado, here are a few that I noticed within the film (warning: there may be spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet, read with caution):
1) Love requires vulnerability. So many of us want to feel loved, but so few of us are willing to take the step to be vulnerable. Two of the main characters in the film, T’Challa and Nakia, are initially shown as leaders tied to their duty. It is Nakia’s duty to serve the king and the kingdom, which protects her from showing that her love for T’Challa. However, it is their love for each other that enhances the relationship. How many times have we kept our appreciation of a friend, family member, or partner to ourselves? Often it is easy to say, “I did it because I was supposed to”, rather than “I did it because I care about you”. Vulnerability can bring us together if we are willing to take the risk.
2) No one is perfect-accept it. Just like T’Challa, we often want to believe that our role models are perfect. We want to believe that our parents should be perfect. But when reality invariably hits, how do we handle that? How do you view yourself when you aren’t the perfect parent, student, friend, or partner? Accepting the truth that even the best of us can make mistakes can help prevent the shock of finding out that someone could not live up to our expectations. It is the acceptance of that fact that gives us hope that we can love ourselves, imperfections and all, and create the capacity to love someone else.
3) We are all a bit, well, complicated. Sometimes it can be easy to label someone as either friend or foe. However, there are reasons why each of us are the way that we are. This does not mean that someone should be given a pass for being abusive or harming someone else, but it does mean that it might be more advantageous to try to understand someone else’s point of view. Killmonger was by no means a hero in the film, but he was trying to empower a group of people who suffered. In a world where most people want to win arguments on social media, we can learn a lot more from asking questions. In situations where you feel that someone is easily becoming an enemy, try to see things from their point of view. Maybe you will need to set boundaries to keep yourself healthy, but there may also be an opportunity to learn something that could help you in the future. We can all learn from each other.
So, how do we keep this feeling of hope alive? I believe that it starts with acknowledgement. Acknowledge the good-be grateful for the things that make you smile. Notice the things that you may want to pretend are not there. The more that we attempt to ignore, the harder it may become to see the area of growth in the future. Finally, determine the best choice of action for yourself, giving yourself room to make a mistake. Remember, hope cannot solely survive on a wish and a dream. Hope can however, thrive, when we are intentionally kind to ourselves and to each other, taking a risk to become a true hero in our own lives.