Oatmeal and Discipline
Compassion and Discipline-seems like those two words wouldn’t usually go together, right? What are some words that typically come up when you think of compassion? Maybe grace, kindness, understanding? Now, what comes up when you think of discipline? Perhaps it is accountability like the previous month’s blog (hint: you may want to check out that previous post as this one may build on some of those ideas). Now, what kind of physical reaction do these words evoke for you? For myself, I notice tension within my neck at the word “discipline”. It is as if my body has an aversive reaction to the word. On the other hand, the word “compassion” allows my shoulders to relax.
It is amazing to me how even a certain word can trigger a physical reaction-words are indeed powerful, but perhaps even more powerful is the meaning that we attribute to them. Words can be a soothing balm, a stabbing dagger, or something in between. The meaning that we attribute to words are often based on our own experience with the word, or if we do not have an experience of the word, the meaning that others have placed on the word. It is interesting to me how the meaning that we ascribe to words can be quite different and even impact of perspective of the person who uses it. If words have such a level of influence in our lives, it seems that it would be important to ensure that those words are creating the type of impact that you desire in your life (at least as much to the degree that you are able to do so).
Now, I am not staying that we can totally control the impact that specific words may have on our life. I imagine that words are often triggering to us based on the meaning someone else may have put on that word. Discipline in a physically abusive situation can feel very different from the discipline of learning a new skill. There are certainly times in our lives where the expression of such words can affect how we experience the word in the future. If you came from a strict family, for example, discipline could feel suffocating. It can be the oatmeal or whatever food that you hated as a child and vowed to never eat again as an adult. However, perhaps it was not the oatmeal that was inherently bad, perhaps it was ruined by the person that put it together. The beauty is that as an adult, you can see the benefits of oatmeal by creating your own version of it. Discipline does not have to equate to social control. Discipline can be understanding, compassionate, and effective, depending on how we choose to look at it.
So how do we make that oatmeal a bit sweeter (or savory if that is your jam)? Well, we first acknowledge the discipline that we already have. If you go to work every day to pay your bills, you have discipline. If you work out on a consistent basis, you have discipline. If you commit to spending time with your family regularly, you have discipline. The things that we do in our life that are not always enjoyable but serve a larger purpose, prove that we have discipline. Thus, we will need to shift as life changes, we ARE capable of doing that, even if we may not feel like it. Acknowledging our journey and encouraging ourselves through the process is how we can give a sweeter meaning to discipline.
As you are reading this, I encourage you to think about those words that make you tick. And if it is discipline, ask yourself two things: (1) what has the past taught me about discipline? (2) are there areas in my life that could be better if I tried to have a different encounter to discipline? We all have areas in which we strive to grow-perhaps what you are looking for is on the other side of that concept that you may be able not only learn more about, but ultimately create your own meaning from.