From Free Falling to Flowing
I hope that your summer is all that you hoped it would be. I find that most people are just happy to have more sunlight in the day-perhaps that is a big part of the hoopla of summer. Folks are gathering outside more and there are more opportunities for adventures outside of one’s home. Some of us, if we are not careful, find ourselves trying to do it all at one time. For example, when I first bought my house, many folks would tell me-“get as much done in the summer as you can”. Little did I know, this common wisdom was widespread. Many of my neighbors were completing home improvement projects as we know as the demand rises, so do prices. Also, I had limited control around how much money I would have in that moment. While I was saving for this summer work, things came up throughout the year that required money at the moment to be addressed. So, I ended up getting my roof replaced in the winter, and still have not fixed my stairs, but hope to do it soon.
While that was just a small example of my own experience, we have seen systemically what happens when a lot of decisions are made at once. The Supreme Court issued several decisions in the past couple of weeks that impact us all. From allowing the criminalization of homelessness, to declaring immunity for Presidents, we saw firsthand what could happen when we choose to cram so many decisions at once. Instead of providing clarity on laws, we witnessed a further emergence of confusion-and that emotion that so often walks alongside confusion-anger. We found ourselves trying to make sense of many things at once. Even during a week that independence is supposed to be celebrated, many of us, including myself, felt more bound by the information swirling in our heads.
When we or leadership, put ourselves in those types of predicaments in an attempt to protect ourselves, we often end up jumping with no parachute, hoping that someone, or something will catch us, and until that happens, we find ourselves in an extended level of crisis internally. That internal crisis no only makes it difficult for us to make decisions that impact our lives, but also make it difficult to flow with both the good times and the not so good times.
So how do we move to flow? Here are a couple of things that I have found helpful:
1) Tackle one major decision at a time. This might be difficult for us multi-taskers out there, but the truth is that if we attempt to tackle more than one, one or more are not going to get our full attention and thus we may miss something.
2) Give yourself a cool-off period. There are few things better, in my opinion, then hopping in the pool after sitting in the soon for awhile. If you’ve had to deal with a lot of “heat” lately, permit yourself to cool off. Take a vacation or a mental break for a time that works based on your priorities and needs. The cool down is a recuperative space for your mind to take care of those other things so that you will be ready for the heat again.
3) Communicate about things outside of your control. If you are feeling some type of way about what others are doing that is impacting your life-say something! The person may not be aware of how their decisions are impacting your life. From a systems perspective, if we do not advocate, the leaders may think that they are acting in the best interest of folks and continue down the same path. While we cannot prevent everything, we can hold ourselves and others accountable.
Flowing gives us a sense of groundedness that falling cannot. This summer, I challenge you to consider what is giving you that sense that so much is out of control and develop a plan to address it. Also, consider people or things that can or do help you flow, and learn to flow together. While each individual is ultimately responsible for themselves, we can help each other lighten the load.