The Meaning for the Season
The holiday season can be a source of joy, sadness, apprehension and a motley of other emotions. Being around family can bring out the best in some of us and the worst at times. Holiday traditions and events can sometimes be a mixed bag of stress, both good and bad. Whether you start putting up your Christmas decorations in October or pack on the overtime at work, the holiday season presents a unique opportunity to redefine your own meaning of the season.
While the holiday season can certainly be a stressful one, we can reduce the amount of stress and the negative connotations that we subscribe to by learning to pay attention to our own stress symptoms and creating a care plan for ourselves. Some common manifestations of holiday stress are:
Increased irritability towards others
Trouble eating or sleeping
Anxious thoughts about upcoming events or “to do” lists
Hyper vigilance or extreme alertness causing additional distress
Body aches
If you notice that you are experiencing these symptoms or other distressing physical symptoms, such as stomach pains, etc, it may be your mind, body, and spirit letting you know that you need to pay attention to what is happening within. This may mean serving others and giving, but it could also mean learning to serve yourself. Here are a few tips to help alleviate some of those symptoms:
Confront the loss. If you find that the season brings up a lot of feelings of loss for you, try to look for opportunities to manage that grief. Allow yourself time to honor the memory of that loss. It can feel right to just keep working or distract yourself with other activities, however, if we do this we do not allow ourselves space to heal. Often the more we resist, the more the pain persist. People commonly associate loss with people, however loss can mean numerous things-loss of independence or health, etc. Loss is highly individualized and how we experience it can be a unique experience for each of us. The holiday does not necessarily mean that it will always be a sad time for you, but by acknowledging where we are, we give ourselves the freedom to honor that experience and let the pain go so that we may also honor what we have gained.
Allow others to serve you. Your supports may notice changes in your behavior before you notice them yourself. If you are someone who is used to taking care of everyone else and views the holiday as your time to shine in caring for others to the point of exhaustion towards yourself, consider taking a different approach such as allowing others to serve and care for you. If you feel like you may need additional support from a professional, consider going to see a therapist. Being able to serve in any capacity can be a wonderful gift to give and to receive.
Consider serving others as well. While serving others through volunteering anytime can enhance our well-being, the holidays present numerous opportunities to get involved in various projects. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, or even giving a gift to a stranger can help us step out of our own stress and honor someone else’s experience.
Give yourself permission to serve yourself. Take a break from the to-do lists and allow yourself to only attend events that you actually want to go to. If you are feeling pressure to do it all, remind yourself that parties and events are not meant to make us feel worse than we may already feel. Taking time to give yourself a break not only creates a greater opportunity for you to enjoy the activities more, but it also creates a better opportunity for you to enjoy time with your loved ones as well.
Get Organized. Having clutter in your home or office space and a long to-do list in your head can contribute to feelings of anxiety. Try to stick to your normal schedule as much as possible-if working out is part of your regular schedule, stick to it, even if it is tempting not to do so. If you engage in a spiritual practice on a regular basis, keep it up. When there is a lot of activities going on, it can be easy to substitute those activities in place of other activities that we do to keep our sanity on a regular basis. If cleaning helps you feel more comfortable in your space, go for it! Remember that your wellness matters every day of the week, including the holidays. If you are planning to buy gifts or new outfits, create a budget for yourself and stick to it (the holidays don’t have to give us the gift of debt)! Plan your holiday attire ahead of time so that you don’t have to worry about adding that to your shopping list. If to do list overwhelm you further, try to set a goal of completing at lease one major task per day and reward yourself for doing so!
The holiday season presents an opportunity for each of us to reflect and determine what is most important to us. Just because media and our social circles may have their own idea of what the holiday season should be, doesn’t mean that this is what it has to be for you. If traditions from the past make you feel unsafe, create your own. You deserve to be happy this holiday season. We can treat the season as business as usual, tied to our to-dos, or we can treat it as a moment to honor our past, present, and future. We can choose to give ourselves the gift of peace, or we can give ourselves the mess of stress, the choice is yours.
Wishing you a holiday season full of wellness,
Chante’