Permission for Peace: Temperance.

Temperance. This has to be one of my least favorite words that has somehow consistently shown up in my life. In general, I am someone who likes to get things done as soon as possible, so I try to prepare as much as I can. However, I have discovered that sometimes life has other plans. Sometimes you plan to be a hostess only to find out that you won’t have any water in your bathroom (true story). Or you plan to be this stay-at-home parent when your partner is nowhere to be found. Life has a way of reminding us that we are not always in control, and that can be a very frustrating fact to accept, particularly when it is something that you truly want.

While it is tricky to plan without knowing how external circumstances will go, it is also tricky to trust that what you want can still come true. I think sometimes it is easier to just say that it won’t happen and try to do something else, even if it isn’t your dream. Sometimes we give up on the dream right before it seems to come together.

So, how do we stop ourselves from giving up? Should we stop ourselves? While I can’t tell you which choice might be the right option for you, I can say that things are always happening, even if it appears that it is not. There are cells moving everywhere, even though we can’t see them. So, while it may appear that you are standing still in practicing temperance and patience, chances are that things are still moving-even if you aren’t aware of it. Sometimes slowing down helps us build the building blocks for our future.

If we believe that things are still moving, then perhaps there are ways that we can continue to “move” even if we don’t seem to be moving. Being aware of opportunities for growth is one way to actively practice patience. Let’s say you want to be at home with the kids-do you have a space in your home for a family? Have you worked on various skills that can help you in the future? Are you doing all that you can to be ready for the opportunity? Sometimes, that opportunity comes when we least expect it and when we have already given up on it, we may find that we wasted time by not believing that good could happen and thus weren’t prepared for it.

Does this mean that all of our dreams will come true? Not at all. But, if we give ourselves permission to be at peace, even if it appears that are dream is but a pipe, we find that we can gain, no matter what the external events. If we choose to invest our time in opportunities as they arise, we have more opportunities to learn and prepare ourselves for whatever the future has in store. Most of all, we take control over our emotions and learn to live in temperance, no matter how the many events outside of our control occur.